Church Rulez

We had our Stake Conference this past weekend, which was thoroughly enjoyable; we've got a lot of good stake members who have a lot of wise things to say. For that matter, I love our weekly devotionals, as well. As much as I appreciate their pearls of wisdom, though, it's these gems from the pulpit that I want to draw attention to:

• "We have lots of cookies for you, cause we want to feed you spiritually, then we want to feed you physically. Then we want you to flirt." (Everybody left promptly after taking their cookies - I think the fun is taken out of it once it becomes a stake assignment.)
• Our Stake President, President Barron, once wielded a legit sword from the pulpit. And he talks like a stereotypical Californian surfer. It makes his talks even more entertaining to listen to. (To use a Bonnie Doon Stake term, he is definitely the one with the "pizazz".)
• "Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" - Harry Potter is just so spiri'chal.
• In the introduction to his talk, a young man pulled out a ring box and said he wanted to take this opportunity to do something big and "she knows who she is". It was just a joke, but we were all still a little tense. Oh, YSA wards.
• Someone referred to us as "solid [illegitimate children] of the Lord". (I know, I'm making this blog little more PG here.) We can't figure out what he meant by it, but we're all darned sure that's what we heard.
• President Barron wanted to do an anonymous Q and A in stake conference, so he gave us all his cell number so that we could text him questions.
• Elaine S. Dalton, as part of an object lesson, peeled an actual potato from the pulpit at devotional.

And some people think church is boring.